Hi Chosen, and happy birthday! I'm sorry you are married to an N, but all of us here have tangled with them, many for as long as you or longer. So we understand everything you are going through.
It is "normal" (for an N) to ruin holidays and special occasions, especially someone else's "special day", because they resent any day that isn't automatically all about them. When you realize that is part of who they are and how they (all) act, then you realize that it really isn't personal... although it can sure feel that way.
Unfortunately, these guys never change. Sometimes they make promises that sound good, but it is only to lull you back into complacency and then the abuse escalates again. Do you have a plan to get out? Nine years is nine years too many. At 43, you have lots of good years ahead of you... please don't waste them on an N!
Also, read femfree's post about the board becoming "read only" at the end of the month (real soon now). If you haven't already joined the new board, you can follow the link to the runboard site and join us all over there. |
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