I am so glad to find this posting....I am going through the process of leaving a "NPD" and through this process I am reflecting and wondering if my mother had some personality disorder and I got the brunt of her CRAP as a young child and that is why I have allowed unhealthy people in my life, it is a very HARD reality for me to see, but my mother was never avaliable emotionally for me and somewhat critical of my well being, which in turn made me a "terrified little girl" I can remember back and always thinking "HOW SCARED" I was of living.   She always made home a "safe" place and the world was a "scary" place and for some reason now at 50 years old through the end of this HORRIBLE relationship with an "NPD", I think in some respects he might of given me a gift of realizing that mother was JUST LIKE HIM....!!  Very hard realities, but in this process it does allow us to grow and see the "emotional holds-cages-manipulation " that people in our past have had on our lives.   My mother was very ill and her mood swings, using guilt, emotions, anxieties, fears,depression possibly psycosis as well as manipulation to get me to do things for her like be her "waitress" sometimes (very similar to my "X's" and I relationship) as well as I am not good enough to engage in life outside of the chains of her and now I see that her illness has affected me in my life that I had no idea.   I think I have lived my life through the her "emotional crap" that does NOT even belong to me, whos EMOTIONAL SHIT is this anyway and why would I ever continue to allow ANYMORE "SICK" people in my life...I have had wwaaayyyyy  tooooooo mmmmaaannnyy  taking care of people, for a long time has given me some sort of purpose in my life, JUST LIKE TAKING CARE OF MOMMY....!! God bless us all for the strength we have and that we have this community.  One of the first signs of healing is to find the root of the problem and I believe my mother is the root of mine..there is some anger in there as well!!   Comin' outta the clouds...:)

 

HUGS TO ALL.....:) We are strong and will be better people because of this.