"Annie", my 87 yo "N" father has NEVER cared for one second about me (or my deceased Mom).   The ONLY person he cares about is HIMSELF.

 

Last year, when I had surgery, not only did he NOT visit me when I was in the hospital, but he did not come and visit me at home.  He did not see me for THREE MONTHS after my surgery. Three months after my surgery, he just happened to run into me when we were both in the church parking lot.  Mind you, he lives 15 minutes away from me.

 

My mother was repeatedly hospitalized in the 5 years before she died, yet there were MANY times when my father did not visit her.

 

Personally, I think my father is both evil and a "N" (mentally and spiritually and emotionally ill).

 

I'm not sure whether or not your father is a "true N", but he certainly has many "N" traits.

 

Warm blessings!