Hi Annie ashley,

So sorry for all of us because we can all imagine just what the others have been through. I think that the people who had parents who were n's have been particularly wounded. This is why my heart breaks for my children because I chose a n father for them (not knowing he was a n). I am sure that I stayed with him for a great part of the time because the abuse was familiar, and I had been so beaten down as a child, that it was difficult for me to stand up against it. I have done years and years of therapy, and now feel much stronger. My children are blossoming without the influence and tension of their n father. He lives abroad, and they only see him twice a year.

My children hate my n mother, and don't want to be near her. We live 6 hours away from her purposely. She is also very religious in public and self righteous all the time. She has done so many smear campaigns on me all my life that you couldn't begin to count them. She would deny every one of them if confronted. She has tried to turn my brother and I against each other, luckily it didn't work. she gaslights all the time.

I hope you can move away from your n father. It will be beneficial for you and your children.

Big hugs,

Had