Thanks for the replys.   You know,  it really just helps to understand what I;m dealing with.  I've reached the point where I realize that I just need to make sure that I base my decisions upon my own values, and not upon their twisted self serving ones.  You are correct, I'll never please them, they'll never agree.  I need to make sure that I stay grounded in my own value system and do not get sucked into their game.  They are expert manipulators, and try to use our own values (treat people fairly and with kindness) against us.  I'll do the right thing,  and their opinion of my actions just won't matter.