Hi Dolly,

Yes they are vicious and nasty people.

Recently, I had the fortune to absolutely know that I would do what was needed to protect myself and children from my nm. She and my father drove up here to look at houses in the town about 25 minutes north of where I live. She told the realtor that I didn't like my boss, and all sorts of personal stuff about me. The realtor is friends with my boss. I was deathly afraid she had gotten me fired. This all happened in one day, she almost ruined my life as I know it and have built it to be in a few hours. It would not be easy for me to find another job right now.

So, I told her that she had no right to tell another soul anything about me. I had mentioned to them a few months ago that my boss ( whom I suspect has many n traits, if not a full blown NPD) was picking on her staff.

Most importantly, I told her that I could not have her living anywhere near me, and that if they moved up here, I would have to move. Within two days of staying with us at that time, I was reduced to a nervous wreck, my children were hiding in their rooms, and I worried about my reputation in the small town I work in.

Of course she turned this around on me to use against me. Didn't stop her though for trying to manipulate me into coming down there to pack them up.

I am just thankful that they are staying 6 hours away.

I want to somehow cut it off with her before she gets much older. I feel this is cruel, if you are talking about a normal person. However, this woman would destroy anyone who helped her if she could. It is like an animal who eats her young.

Going North, I don't believe in spanking, (you can understand why), and never spanked my children, who are really nice people, however, what this woman did to us was not in any way "normal spanking". She tortured us. I think that my experience having a nm, makes me even more empathetic to the children who experience this My father was in the military and was never at home. Even though both sets of grandparents lived closeby, they didn't know what she was doing to us. We spent each weekend with my father's parents, and that saved us because they were lovely people and gave us unconditional love and peace.(We never told because we thought it was normal, and because we knew the beatings would be far worse if she found out we had told).

With my own children, I jumped in between them and the xnh so that he could not physically do anything to them, however, it still affected them very badly to have to live with this tension and anger in their household.

Thank you all for your replies, it is interesting to hear what other people have done and are doing.

Hugs,

Had