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| | From:  laur5304 (Original Message) | Sent: 19/11/2008 4:35 a.m. |
| I used to catch XN in so many Lies..ridiculous ones like lieing about him taking his best friend to a football game...when his dad admitted it and so did his best friend....I've heard from 5 of his friends he slept with a porn star after 1 month of breaking up with me..even talked to the porn star and she admitted to it....I always felt like i had to go behind his back to find out the truth because he would never admit any real truth to me.. I don't get why they continue to lie when you know that the facts are true...but they will admit things to other people. is it because they don't want us to believe that they are scumbags and so they can still use us for supply? I always felt like he only lied to me...any thoughts. just something that was on my mind |
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Hi My thoughts are and I've said this to other people. They lie just to hear themselves talk. They do it so much that eve when confronted with the truth, they believe thier own lies. Its sad and pathetic. Hope that helps. Have a great day Lost |
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I don't know why they lie so much. But I know that I am always trying to figure out what was a truth and what was a lie. Like when they express their feelings to you. Mine said he always liked me and in fact likes me too much. Then a few weeks later said he has no feelings for me none at all. What was truthful??? There are lots of things that I am questioning that he said and trying to see if any of it was truthful. It makes it hard for you to trust again. Heartbrokengp91 |
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In my opinion they lie because they think something like.......let see if I can pull the wool over this one/or this time. How much can i get away with? I deserve to do what I want to do with whoever I want to do it with....SO what she/he doesnt know wont hurt her..........and if its found out....Then I come up with another lie..... Im smarter than the rest......I can fool ANYONE....... I have to say/do whatever it takes.............to get whatever I want....... These type of people will never be able to have a loving,open, and honest r/s with ANYONE ........they are disordered.......and this usually never changes.......best thing to do is not to even question their actions or motives...........its all about THEM, whatever step they take. |
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If they lips are moving, it's a lie!
I think the x n lied because he like the stress it caused. It sure did cause alot of stress and destress for me. Glad I'm away from it. Life is so much easier |
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LOL & AMEN!! @ if their lips are moving then they're lying. That is soooooo true. |
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I think they like the excitement they get trying cover up their lies. If they told the truth their wouldn't be so much drama. N's love drama. They thrive on it. If their isn't any they do something to create it.
wildewon |
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I think they get off on the excitement and drama it causes when they have to keep covering up their lies. If there wasn't any drama, he would always create some by doing something to hurt me and then lie until I figured out the truth. In any case there was always drama. He could never be happy when things were calm. He would always go see OW when things got to calm. Then eventually he would set it up where I would find him there. I don't know why I took it for so long. Even one time, was one time to many. I could have been free a whole lot sooner if only I had found this site and went NC a whole lot sooner.
Thanks to all of you. It will be 1 year of being away from him with one brief N dip that gave me a chance to get some closer. Something that most of us don't get. I got to call him to his face the Devil amongst some other things. He finally got it he has pretty much left me alone except for one incident. He knows that I am and always will be unavailable to him. I am stronger now then ever and the love I had for him is gone. For you people who new at this it does get easier and better. Stay NC and block all avenues of contact.
YouMail.com is a great way to channel unwanted voice mails. You can choose a nasty personalized message and then it hangs up. My message to the N was something that said GO TO HELL at the end. I thought it was very fitting since he is the programed the Devil on my phone. It plays the message then hangs up so no voice mails are left. Makes life a lot easier. He only called me twice and he has never called me again. He is blocked on my email accounts too. NC is the only way to get way from these idiots. |
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Hi laur,
Ns can lie for all the reasons mentioned by the others-but if he is telling the so-called truth to others but lies to you, the reason may be that it's his way of keeping an asymmetry in your relationship. Ns like that kind of thing. They always like to be one up in a relationship and lying, being secretive,and keeping another person in the dark is one way they do it. |
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| Asymmetry is right! They don't know the meaning of the word or concept "balance." Reminds me of my brother, when we were younger. We'd be horsing around and he'd pull me lightly here, push me lightly there, keeping me literally off balance...I'd laugh so hard because I just couldn't get my balance, but I'd never fall. The difference here is the N wants you to fall, and fall hard. Laughing away the whole time. |
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The lies are part of the gas lighting. They do like to keep you off balance. It makes you insecure. If your insecure your trying like hell to please them!
It doesn't matter why they lie, just that they do. I had never met a liar before. I guess I should feel lucky it took me 42 years to meet one.
From the very beginning it was all lie. A relationship based on a lie. The lie was the N was a caring sensitive person, and a good parent and provider. All of that was a lie. There were many red flags I ignored. I can think of plenty of situations he manipulated to keep me off balance. I think about those times that I thought I was happy, they were brief. He couldn't stand for me to be happy. It was like a kid who has a toy and shows it to his friend and lets him play with it for a few minutes and then takes it back and won't let the friend play with it anymore. You think your going to finally get what you want only to have it taken away. This happened to me over and over. I also saw his child do that to one of his friends. I understand so many things that I didn't before. When I finally understand it all may be it will be behind me. |
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"It doesn't matter why they lie, just that they do." Good point Wildwon. VERY good point! It should be enough just to know they are no good liars. That should be all we need to know to walk away. |
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moving, Yes you are correct - the one I knew told me straight to my face after some good lies that he was a good liar and I did not get out. My eyes are open and it will never happen again to me.........{Peace |
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