I just went through the same thing. I finally had to actually send him printed info on the classic symptoms of him being abusive - it made him angry but oh well. There's no way to love someone who doesnt love himself. I have to take one day at a time - I hae been so damaged. I refuse to let him continue to control me and hurt me. I finally made him feel so guilty - if he can feel guilt - he is gone. It was hard but slowly - very slowly- I am getting out of what was an abusive relationship - itwas making me sick and I didnt even realize it.