Eyeswideopen.. it will take one too many hurts by N or something drastic to get you to realize one day that by thinking XN can be a friend you are setting yourself up for further abuse. I dated a N within a year of separating. I knew nothing about Ns at that time. I gave him a year of my life and then 4 years apart. After this time I went back for another year of torture. This N has been out of my life for over 2 years and only until recently did the " frienship" end. He tried during the whole last 2  1/2 years to try to win me back. I wouldn`t see him but did continue to talk to him when he called me. He recently met a woman who is also just out of a marriage and she is now living with him after only 2 weeks together. When I made a comment about it he D&D`d me. This is an 8 years relationship/ friendship?? I  am accepting him ending the friendship as he has done me a favor. I know once he isn`t with her anyone more he will be back trying to sway me again. Point being N`s don`t make good friends!! Thye only use us for NS and when we no longer are of " use" to them they will discard us. Do it to him before he has the chance to use you more and cause further hurt. I have had 2 Ns in my life and I now spot them a mile away .... you will too. Just listen to your heart and be friends with people who value and respect you as you deserve to be treated. Good luck. PS divorcecare is a good beginning for this!!