NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY

I heard a phsycologist on radio outline the characteristics of N's. I knew they were screwed up and disfunctional, and made our family a circus, hell I didn't know there was a name for it. We recently lost our mom, which was the only person either really cared for (they despise me). I'm the executor and am trying to settle the estate. Other two siblings are well trained co-dependents. What a nightmare. Typically we've always dealt with them by letting them do whatever they want to avoid the hostility, anger, histronics, drama, violence. As an adult I bailed and stayed away (as did the other two non N's, I'm a little more forceful). I've got to deal with them now, and I can't do it by avoidance or letting them have their way. Help....any suggestions?

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Message 2 of 5 in Discussion

Sent: 5/10/2008 9:09 a.m.

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Message 3 of 5 in Discussion

From:

neveraga1n

Sent: 6/10/2008 10:08 a.m.

Dear Iam4freedom.

So sorry to hear you lost your mum. Looks like you're not going to get any support from your siblings. I don't know how things are organised legally where you live, but over here executors are usually notary publics. If I were you, I would hire the services of a good one and leave the settlement of the estate up to him/her. They are independant and should be a trustworthy party for each and everyone. It may cost something extra, but it will spare you SO much pain and trouble, for you are NEVER going to do this right according to your N. bros.

Good luck.

NeverAga1n

(I post at the general forum, Nsister, NXhusband and deceased Nfather.)

Message 4 of 5 in Discussion

From:

Anemone252

Sent: 7/10/2008 12:38 p.m.

Hi Iam4Freedom

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your Mum. I'm in my 40's and have recently realised my sister is an N. NeverAgain has given you good advice, an independent person would probably be a great help. Remember, the Ns are always right about everything and it is so draining dealing with them. You won't do right, so why try. Get some help so that you can take a little step back and look after yourself while dealing with settling everything. I know that I have been drained dry by my N sis, she's a nightmare!

Message 5 of 5 in Discussion

From:

IAM4FREEDOM

Sent: 20/10/2008 4:31 a.m.

Thanks for the replys. You know, it really just helps to understand what I;m dealing with. I've reached the point where I realize that I just need to make sure that I base my decisions upon my own values, and not upon their twisted self serving ones. You are correct, I'll never please them, they'll never agree. I need to make sure that I stay grounded in my own value system and do not get sucked into their game. They are expert manipulators, and try to use our own values (treat people fairly and with kindness) against us. I'll do the right thing, and their opinion of my actions just won't matter.

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