Hi, chosen one. Don't worry about it all. Now that you have found this place, and no doubt will be going over to the new board, everything will be alright. There may be a journey ahead of you where you will laugh as well as cry, but it will all come right, and not only that, you will not only be healed, but stronger, happier, and wiser, and so it will not happen again. Honestly, I can tell you that I have progressed in my healing, by embracing the idea that I have been made 'ill' (upset is a better word), to the extent that I'm glad it happened, perversely. I'm your age. We're still kids.
And as to the lefted alone on your birthday. What a pathetic attempt to try and hurt you. What a dimwit that guy is to think that you can't see that he is just trying to hurt you. He's a 100% prime beef knob. I get such pathetic attempts to hurt me by my NM. It's just laugable, isn't it. What dimbos they are.
It is not your fault. It is the Ns who are disordered. We are 12345, whereas they are 12435, or 1235. It is not our fault we didn't know this, and that consequently we were messed around for a time and got deeply hurt. That is no fault or shortcoming on our part. They are just disordered. We were just unlucky. It can happen to anyone. But what matters now is the future, so come on and get on with it, whatever it takes. If you need to get shut, then do it. Life will go on. You're a great person; I can sense it in your post.
See you on the other board. Love Lotty.