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Hey guys, hope all is well! Everything is pretty good on my end! If anyone remembers, I sadly had to put my dog to sleep about 2 weeks ago and I was devstated. A week ago, my father surprised us with a new puppy! We are not trying to replace my old dog, in fact, we are still very much upset over the loss but honestly, it helps to have a new little life in the house. I started seeing someone new, he is younger then me (what can I say? I'm a cougar in training! LOL) and we are just having a lot of fun together and he's really nice to me. I have been working hard to pay off my bills and find a full-time job (I have my college degree, in that in between stage right now...) and all in all, everything is looking up. And then....he called. Ugh. It's like he has ESP and knows when I am in a great mood. Anyway, he called to give his condolscences about my dog. I politely said "thank you" and within minutes, he was telling me he was so confused (he has a new, disgusting idiot gf) and he can't stop thinking about me, etc etc. I was amazed to not feel any pull on my heart strings. I literally laughed when I read the texts, not believing his BS for a minute. I very gently (don't want to piss him off because then he will start harassing me) told him I would not be going back to him. Amazingly, he just said "okay" and lightly pushed for another day or so but then he gave up & I was relieved. We spoke today briefly and soon enough, he was implying he couldn't talk because he was with the new girl. I said ok no problem and ended the convo but once I got off the phone, I felt odd. I am feeling those jealousy pangs again. It's so incredibly frustrating to not want someone but still feel jealous. Basically, I just need help staying NC and not getting roped back in because he's trying to play on my emotions. We have since stopped talking but that really hasn't helped. I feel all anxious and everything is going so well for me right now and I'm so happy, I don't want to go back to that place. I know the only way to do this is to completely go NC so please save that convo for someone else. He just caught me when I was in such a great mood that I didn't give much thought to it and that's MY fault. Please guys, anything would be apprecitated. Thanks. |
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| | From:  HopeYet | Sent: 14/11/2008 9:10 p.m. |
Hi R I'm new here, but I hope you won't mind me adding my tuppenceworth! I think you know what everyone else will say... BLANK HIM He's missing you...but he's got a new girlfriend...Hmmmm missing you alright.
Missing his hold over you... Don't play his games. Take care X HY |
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Thanks, Hopeyet..I am going my best, it's just I am trying very, very hard not to let my emotions take over my brain. As long as I can do that, I will be okay. |
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Rayanne- have you changed your number? If you can, to feel the full effect of total NC, then cut him off completely with email, and your phone, make sure he cannot call you at all. Myself, I was really massively relieved to change my phone number, to know that the p could not mess with us anymore, and that there was not a chance he would contact again. I have, in my time here, also read of quite a few members that have felt this relief- of being able to move on uninterrupted in their own healing. You have made a choice, Ray. You made a choice to find out about NPD, and you are coming to terms with what he is- and also as to what he did to you. You have made a conscious decision to avoid the n- I am just here to tell you that there are options that can aid you further in your healing. While the n is still calling you and being spoken to, you are still connected. He is still trying to play the triangulation game with you. But you can put an end to this. The next time the n calls, he can get a "This number is no longer in service" message. And your email will just be sent back to him. And then, right there with those actions, you are saying "I'm done. It's over, I am not going to be used by you anymore." This is you, taking your power back. The choice is yours, but it can make things alot easier. ((((HUG)))) Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  |
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PS- Have you joined the new board yet? |
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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 6 of 8 in Discussion |
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At some point, you have to decide to not take the bait and that is by going no contact. Until then, what else is there to do? |
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| | | From: OzGirl57 | Sent: 24/11/2008 5:34 a.m. |
<WBR>Just yesterday, I had his number blocked on my land line. Of course, he could call from a different number, but I'm not answering any numbers I do not recognize. THEN I got my cell phone changed for FREE.......a one time deal with ATT due to harassing phone calls. So if he calls my old number he will hear a recording that my phone is no longer in service. If he calls my land line he will hear a message saying "this caller is not taking calls at this time". I feel very relieved because I don't know if he has tried to call or not, and I DO NOT CARE!!!!!!! I feel I have taken my power back by doing this. I have tried NC before, but KNOW I have to stick to it this time. The only way I can call him is with my cell because he is long distance (I can't call l/d on my land line) so if I were to do that, I would be giving him my number, which I refuse to do. I feel like it all is a tool that I have put in place to protect myself from him, and to protect my self from the obsessive nightmare of me calling him again. It is a very good feeling, and I am sure I will not ever contact him again. He did send me email yesterday morning, which I ignored. So 24 hours for me the second time around. The FINAL time around. I'm so done. I actually hate the liar and do not ever want to go back there where I am tortured 24/7.
-----Original Message-----
From: NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER <[email protected]>
To: NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER <[email protected]>
Sent: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 4:08 pm
Subject: Re: HE KEEPS THROWIN THE BAIT OUT..NOT TAKIN IT..HELP!
-----------------------------------------------------------
New Message on NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: kyrajames
Message 4 in Discussion
Rayanne- have you changed your number? If you can, to feel the full effect of
total NC, then cut him off completely with email, and your phone, make sure he
cannot call you at all. Myself, I was really massively relieved to change my
phone number, to know that the p could not mess with us anymore, and that there
was not a chance he would contact again. I have, in my time here, also read of
quite a few members that have felt this relief- of being able to move on
uninterrupted in their own healing. You have made a choice, Ray. You made a
choice to find out about NPD, and you are coming to terms with what he is- and
also as to what he did to you. You have made a conscious decision to avoid the
n- I am just here to tell you that there are options that can aid you further in
your healing. While the n is still calling you and being spoken to, you are
still connected. He is still trying to play the triangulation game with you.
But you can put an end to this. The next time the n calls, he can get a "This
number is no longer in service" message. And your email will just be sent back
to him. And then, right there with those actions, you are saying "I'm done. It's
over, I am not going to be used by you anymore." This is you, taking your power
back. The choice is yours, but it can make things a lot easier. ((((HUG))))
Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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You have to keep NC - you feel slimed after speaking with him because he used you again - Nar Supply that is all they want. Weather we scream at them or answer there questions, they win. You are not jealous - you feel crappy that is how they make you feel when you know what they are. After 14 months of NC (I escaped 18 months ago) I had to speak with him right in front on me at work - I answered no questions - and asked no questions - no interest. .. I have not fogotten one thing he did and the fact that I was addicted. I have my own happy, wonderful life. Peace, |
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