Purple,

 

My birthday is going to be pretty neat.  Without him. 

 

He never once gave me a birthday gift.  Not even a cheap one. 

 

Not having him around on my birthday -- to point out how very "unspecial" I am to him -- is going to be a huge relief for me. 

 

 

Gloria

 

 

Hey Ducky

 

Did ya make it thru yesterday okay?  Im popping on here today cuz today is MY ex Ns bday and im trying to stay busy. I want to call him too. Reminding myself of all the crappy stuff he did, and doing a lot of reading on cognitive dissonance.... i will post more on that later. It is VERY eye opening stuff...

duckylou, I was at that place a couple of weeks ago on xN's birthday as well.  But I also thought about how MY birthday was just a month earlier and I didn't hear anything from him, either.  We're all supposed to be "such great friends," according to him.  What a laugh.  Don't bother, you may as well go sing happy birthday to a leaf that fell from a tree outside your house.  It would at least be accepted by the leaf without sarcasm.

 

 

This one caught my eye.  My XN called me on his birthday..How whacked is that.  I didnt answer of course.  I figured his New Woman musta been busy.

Ducky,

 

You said "that's the only thing I ever told him I wanted".

 

Does it seem that whatever we actually tell them we want, that is the LAST thing we're going to get?  It was like that for me.

 

Glad you made it through his B-day.

this one also caught my eye!  I remember the first year my xN and I were together for his birthday - his friends and I had arranged a whole weekend of stuff for him - and because I knew we were moving to our new house I gave him a card saying I was buying him a puppy (we'd been excited about getting a dog) and thought he would be over the moon - and had booked a really nice restaurant for dinner.  Anyway - he SULKED.  Properly.  Didn't think I'd done enough.  I landed up cancelling the table I had booked for the evening and was devastated that he was being such an arse.  I spent the evening in tears.  I rang his best friend mortified about how he was reacting.  It was a Thursday, and I couldn't even tell him about the surprises his friends and I had lined up for Friday Saturday and Sunday.  He actually told me he would rather have had the Borat video.  I mean - how can someone be such a petulant child?!  He didn't wish me happy birthday after we split up, and there's no way on earth I'll ever contact him again, let alone wish him happy birthday.  He's just a 42 year old SPOILT BRAT. 

I think I'll take Fem's advice and call him. 

 

I miss him so. 

 

Maybe he will forgive me.  And take me back. 

 

Maybe he will keep all of those broken promises. 

 

Fem's given me the courage to go pick that phone and beg him, plead with him, tell him that I know I can change -- and be better -- be the woman he wants and needs. 

 

But first . . .

 

Let me go get that shotgun and shoot myself in the face. 

 

~ ~ ~

 

For his birthday in July: 

 

Two days before his birthday, he up and quit his PT job (that we desperately needed) -- WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST. 

 

Then, the next day, I deliberately left the late notice for the water bill laying on the table. 

 

With the notice STILL laying on the table, he wanted to go out to a nice expensive dinner for his birthday. 

 

In the 3.5 years we were together, he never gave me a birthday gift and never took me for so much as a Subway.  Not even a cheap bottle of cologne from Wal-Mart.  He took MY money in 2007 to buy me a last-minute card. 

 

Yes.  Let me go call him and beg his forgiveness.  But first . . .  Where oh where did I put that shotgun?

 

Gloria

 

 

I was a good little employee and wished my ExNH a happy birthday this past Monday.

 

Never again. It made my skin crawl to say it. I honestly didn't care if he appreciated it, it was just something I felt I NEEDED to do. It's something I do for everyone I know. But after I did it... nah, never again.. nope.. It did not make me happy to do it. A birthday wish should be something that brings you joy to give, not some f*cked up obligation.