 |
Reply
| | From:  Exwife3 (Original Message) | Sent: 17/10/2008 2:45 a.m. |
If anyone has any information on curing yourself of codependent behaviors and healing the inner child please post them. Specific things that you did that helped would be great. Thanks EW |
|
Reply
| |
exwife, The first thing I did was read and reread "Women who Love too Much." The second thing I did was join al-anon or adult children of alchoholics or some variation of a group such as that. I cannot stress how much these groups help. I found a therapist that helped me pinpoint the things from my childhood that I was trying to correct as an adult--false concepts. I was also told to picture myself as a little girl. Did I picture myself as helpless, unlovable? Whatever I pictured myself as, I pictured myself taking that lonely. scared little girl and hugging and protecting her--treating her as I would my own little girl. I Hope this helps you on your road to recovery. Hugs, Annie |
|
Reply
| |
I think this is a great thread exwife. It's really important to help us co's to recognize the reality of the N and why we chose him.........but, what about after this? I'm telling you the COSA helped me more than anything I've ever done. It's the sex addict version of alanon. I just always wonder am I doing enough? What am I missing? Am I further along than I give myself credit for? That's probably a part of it..... I really really never want to pick another intimacy disordered person ever again. I just wonder if I'm doing all that I should be to heal. Thanks! |
|
Reply
| |
Do you know what my therapist said about that? She said the best you can ever do when you had abandonment issues as a child is to be totally aware of it, grieve it, and own it. She said the hole will always be there. But knowing what you do, you can cover up that hole whenever you recognize a situation that you can see as potentially sucking you in, or a relationship you can see as being unhealthy. Beware of men who act like lost puppies. That is precisely the type of relationship that has our name written all over it. But knowing what you do, you cover up that hole & you don't allow him in. I liked her honesty about that subject, and she's been there herself. I think it's unrealistic that we can ever fix what never was there and never will be, if you were emotionally abandoned as a child, as most of us here were. |
|
Reply
| |
She said the best thing you can ever do is when you have had abandonment issues as a child is to be totally aware of it, grieve it, and own it. HMR's therapist, I think, is right on the money. I'm still learning about this myself, after some accidental shock tactics at college Thursday that forced me to rip open some very old wounds. Boundary setting is a BIG, BIG thing for people pleasers- especially, I think with the immediate family, and work from there. That is what I am finding anyway. I have started to become much more assertive in making decisions, and sticking to them- regardless of how anyone reacts. My college tutor pointed out to me last week that how other people react is "their own problem, it's not mine to own." So taking this advice, I have been mindful to start putting that into practice. EW- with doing all this ourselves- we are going to come out of this at our maximum strength. I feel that more than ever in my gut. ((((Hugs sweetie)))) Have a good weekend, okay? Lots of Love, Love Kyra xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  |
|
Reply
| |
my sister falls in love with every man she meets. Can this be co-dependency? The man she's with now I think is an N and I'm so scared for her. |
|
Reply
| |
Dear Exwife, try this: about loving your inner child... |
|
Reply
| |
NeverAga1n present and accounted for once more: next part |
|
Reply
| | | Sent: 17/10/2008 11:09 p.m. |
| This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager. |
|
Reply
| |
Sorry, my delete. Had to change a link. I like Margaret Paul's writing on Inner Child Bonding. "Healing from childhood abuse is about developing your loving Adult self so that you can learn to treat your inner child or inner children the way you always wanted to be treated." She has a website at www.innerbonding.com which is a membership site now but several other Margaret Paul articles can be found here, at Ezine for free. Here is also a good article from joy2meu which has articles about codependence as well: Inner Child Healing: I also highly recommend Richard Grossman's website on voicelessness: The book, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, is pretty popular reading on the subject of codependence. Lynn |
|
Reply
| |
Read the book "Codependent No More"--excellent
--- On Thu, 10/16/08, NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER <[email protected]> wrote:
From: NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER <[email protected]>
Subject: Calling all Codependent experts.....
To: "NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER" <[email protected]>
Date: Thursday, October 16, 2008, 8:45 PM
<STYLE type=text/css>
#yiv713156850
#yiv713156850 ThmFgColumnHeader, #yiv713156850 A.FrameLink, #yiv713156850 A.HeaderLink, #yiv713156850 A.FooterLink, #yiv713156850 A.LgtCmd, #yiv713156850 A.MSNLink {color:#FFFFFF;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgTitleLightBk {color:#FF6600;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgSmallLight {color:#ff0000;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgNavLink, #yiv713156850 A.NavLink, #yiv713156850 A.ChildLink:hover {color:#666699;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgInactiveText, #yiv713156850 A.SystemLink {color:#666666;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgFrameTitle {color:#FFFFCC;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgTitleDarkBk, #yiv713156850 A.NavLink:hover, #yiv713156850 A.TitleLink {color:#CC6600;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgMiscText, #yiv713156850 A.Cat, #yiv713156850 A.SubCat {color:#336699;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgCommand, #yiv713156850 A.Command, #yiv713156850 A.LargeCommand, #yiv713156850 A.MsgLink {color:#003366;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgHeader {color:#333333;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgStandard, #yiv713156850 A.SystemLink:hover, #yiv713156850 A.SubLink, #yiv713156850 A.ChildLink, #yiv713156850 A.StdLink, #yiv713156850 SELECT.Standard {color:#000000;}
#yiv713156850 ThmFgDivider {color:#CCCCCC;}#yiv713156850
#yiv713156850
#yiv713156850 ThmBgStandard {background-color:#FFFFFF;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgUnknown1 {background-color:#FF6600;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgFraming {background-color:#666699;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgUnknown2 {background-color:#666666;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgHighlightDark {background-color:#FFFFCC;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgHighlightLight, #yiv713156850 #idToolbar, #yiv713156850 #tbContents {background-color:#FFFFE8;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgTitleDarkBk {background-color:#F1F1F1;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgAlternate {background-color:#ECF1F6;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgUnknown3 {background-color:#CCCCFF;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgDivider {background-color:#CCCCCC;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgHeader {background-color:#9999CC;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgLinks {background-color:#8696C9;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgSharkBar {background-color:#8696C9;}
#yiv713156850 ThmBgGlobalNick {background-color:#9394A9;}
#yiv713156850
#yiv713156850 calfgndcolor {color:#E00505;}
#yiv713156850 calbgndcolor {color:#E00505;}
</STYLE>
Calling all Codependent experts.....
Reply
|
|
| From: Exwife3 |
If anyone has any information on curing yourself of codependent behaviors and healing the inner child please post them. Specific things that you did that helped would be great.
Thanks
EW | |
View other groups in this category.
|
To stop getting this e-mail, or change how often it arrives, go to your E-mail Settings.
Need help? If you've forgotten your password, please go to Passport Member Services.
For other questions or feedback, go to our Contact Us page.
If you do not want to receive future e-mail from this MSN group, or if you received this message by mistake, please click the "Remove" link below. On the pre-addressed e-mail message that opens, simply click "Send". Your e-mail address will be
deleted from this group's mailing list.
Remove my e-mail address from NARCISSISTIC_PERSONALITY_DISORDER.
| |
|
|
Reply
| |
Thank you so much exwife. That is the best request you could have made. I needed it! |
|
Reply
| |
Exwife, Burnurassoff said it. Melodie Beattie: Co-Dependent No More and Beyond Co-Dependence Super books for those who are co-dependent. Gloria |
|
Reply
| |
I have joined al anon last week. Im doing the twelve steps. Thus Ive managed to define my higher power in a way that I can have faith in and Ive agreed to trust in it and let go. I have purchased the book co- dependant no more. There is a section in the book "co-dependant no more" which lists all the possible behaviors associated with co-dependant -ism. I check marked every behavior that I have. Today I am going to make a list of the opposite behaviors of each behavior I chekmarked. When i finish the list I am going to start listing situations that trigger each codependant behavior. When im done that Im going to start trying to recognise when I have the behaviors by recognising the situations and then try to" DO THE OPPOSITE " behavior. I hope to find a healthy balanced action somewhere in between. Ive also made a statement to myself that this pattern isnt going on anymore. |
|
|
First
0 recommendations 
Return to General